Back from a Looooooooonnnnng and Much Needed Vacation...

A Six Year Vacation.

My camera was tired.

I was tired.

We struggled with having energy enough to get out and get work. 

With accomplishing work,

Editing that work and then Delivering.

I constantly compared my work to others'.

I constantly second-guessed my abilities and determined that I wasn't up to par anymore.

It didn’t help that I was in debt up to my eyeballs. 

I was taking work that I didn’t enjoy - anything that might pay me and might pay all my bills for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe that to pay your bills you need to take on more work.  But I was in panic mode and because I was so Knee Deep in debt, I took in every kind of photography: Car Shows, passports, Business Head Shots, Business Portraits, and General Events.  Taking these mundane jobs on as my Bread and Butter, I was passing up that work which I have always been Passionate about.  The true core of Storybook Memories which has always been the weddings and the soft romantic portraits. 

And because of this, I lost passion for photography as a whole.

I was in a serious FUNK.

Since the day that I sold off – YES, SOLD OFF – all my equipment, I’ve barely picked up a camera.  I’ve hardly photographed even my kiddos who were the very reason that I ever even picked up a camera.

I’ve wandered around aimlessly, trying to figure out what I should do next.

Taking on jobs, seeking out a career pathway, praying for the next step to become obvious as to what I was supposed to do.

Praying because I felt that I had failed and I was scared to pursue ANYTHING!…

But a funny thing has happened. 

We’ve since paid off Aaaaallll our debts (well most - all the big ones anyway!).

We have a little extra cash sort of laying around and being a Homeschool Family…we decided to take a Cross-Country Field Trip to really hammer home some of our US History and Geography lessons.

I prepared for a roadtrip. 

Excited to take pictures of all that I was getting ready to see:  The Arches, The Grand Canyon, Mt. Rushmore and the like, I bought a new camera and I bought a new little 50 mm lens.

For a week or two before my trip, I was packing around this getup, practicing…

On the way out the door practically, a girlfriend who is building up her photography business invited me to shoot a wedding with her.  I was honored for sure so I made sure that my timeline would work and it did.

I also received a text from the friend of my precious cousin asking me if I had a portfolio to present to her so that she could decide if she wanted to hire me or not for her wedding.

Putting together blogs and websites and Facebook pages and going back through wedding CD's and being super fastidious about the images that I'm going to post takes a lot, lot longer than I ever remember so...

I'm sorry to say that I still have not presented that portfolio. In my heart, I think that I am still a bit terrified that I’m "supposed to be doing something else and not this".

I'm waiting on, you know, "the sign" that I am supposed to do this.

I know that I am being my own worst enemy so with the smallest grain of a Mustard Seed of Faith (God, may you Bless this plan), and with successes or failings...

I have determined that I’m In. 

Storybook Memories is Awake and Refreshed and Recuperated and Oh, so happy to be back making pictures and portraits and Memories.

So…let’s do this!